Premarital Coaching

Too often couples get caught up in the excitement of planning their wedding and do not consider planning their marriage.  There is a big difference!   What ultimately happens is couples wind up in therapy down the road in times of crises or challenges. They are unprepared and unequipped to handle the issues at hand.  The journey to marriage isn’t just about planning a wedding; it’s about preparing for a lifetime together. Premarital coaching shifts the focus towards nurturing the relationship itself, fostering important skills, and understanding what contributes to marital satisfaction and longevity. 

In our sessions, I will encourage you to delve into topics that might be challenging or uncomfortable to discuss.  The focus will be on the big "Fs"- finances, family, friendship, and fight or flight tendencies. We will also look at your individual beliefs and values, sexual expectations, family dynamics, and personal histories. Addressing these topics early on helps prevent misunderstandings and resentments down the line.   The overall goals for premarital coaching:

Understanding Your Partner

Premarital coaching can help you understand your partner’s beliefs, values, expectations, motivations, priorities, and routines.

Setting Realistic Expectations

Coaching guides you to discuss all the important aspects of married life with your partner so that you both know what to expect. It also helps identify your strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as a couple.

Planning for the Future

Much like you and your partner would meet with a wedding planner to plan your big day, seeing a premarital coach can help you plan your marriage and your life together. 

Most divorces occur within the first seven years of marriage, and it's even higher in the first two years of marriage.  High divorce rates, unhealthy marriages, and, sadly, domestic abuse cases highlight the need for pre-marital coaching.  

Premarital coaching is designed to equip you and your partner with tools to navigate married life together.   Some of the benefits are:

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Premarital coaching teaches couples to engage in active listening, express their needs clearly, and navigate difficult conversations with less reactivity and friction. It’s about understanding and being understood,

Every relationship encounters conflicts. I help you both  understand your conflict styles and learn how to manage disagreements constructively. 

Financial issues are a common source of marital strife. I help you navigate the financial landscape by discussing topics like joint or separate accounts, budgeting, debt management, and spending habits. 

Sexual compatibility and expectations are crucial for a fulfilling marriage. Coaching provides a safe space to discuss sexual desires, frequency, and any concerns or fears, ensuring both partners feel satisfied and understood.

What roles will each of you play in the marriage? Coacching helps couples clarify expectations regarding household responsibilities, decision-making, and work-life balance.

A couple’s values and beliefs form the foundation of their marriage. Coaching facilitates discussions on religious beliefs, definitions of fidelity, and ways to express love and trust.

Thoughts on having children, parenting styles, and approaches to challenges like infertility are important topics . These discussions help ensure that you are both on the same page regarding family planning.

Maintaining individuality within a marriage is key. Coaching addresses the need for personal space, the role of friends and family in the marriage, and setting healthy boundaries.